December 11, 2016. Cheating Death: Fun in Funchal

So, more bad weather, yada yada yada, we are going to go to Madeira on Sunday instead of the Azores on Monday. OK by me. I love Madeira. This time we decided to take a Princess tour that included a cable car ride, a visit to Monte, a toboggan ride, and wine tasting. We had not done the first three things before and we thought we had not done the wine tasting before, but it turned out that we had. We were picked up at the ship by our guide, Rosanna, and our bus driver, Rui (Roy), and whisked away to the modern, clean cable car station in Funchal, which means "fennel" in Portuguese. The cable car ride was totally wonderful. It lasted 15 to 17 minutes. That is much longer than most cable cars. It was a GORGEOUS day and we had a spectacular view. Completely worth it. Photos will be posted when I get home. At the top we took a short walk to a village called Monte. It was peaceful, and clean, and there was no graffiti. From the town square we could walk up 175 steps to a cathedral or we could hang out in the square while the others went up. We walked up. The cathedral was not awesome and not super old, but it was a nice example of Portuguese Baroque architecture and Charles I of somewhere was buried there. The view from the front of the cathedral was beautiful. After we returned to the town square in Monte we walked over to the toboggans. This is something that you can only do in Funchal, according to Rosanna. You sit in a wicker basket that is mounted on wooden runners. There are ropes strung through little holes in the front of the runners. Portuguese men pull the ropes and you slide down the road for 2 km. It is a very steep and very winding road and it is a road used by cars.  The Portuguese men, called "carreros" or something close run alongside and pull the toboggan and then they jump onto the runners, just like a dogsled, and you ride down the mountain. No seat belts, no helmets, no brakes, no steering wheel. I'm not sure it's relevant, but the carreros wear a traditional outfit consisting of a straw "boater" hat, a white suit, and shoes made out of leather and old tires. They kind of look like a croquet team. It takes a long time to go 2 km, even on a steep hill, and there was a lot of screaming. There were many 90 degree turns and walls and ditches on the edge of the road and other hazards. I did discover during the ride that you could sort of steer by screaming. If it looked like you were going to crash into a wall or plummet over a cliff, I found that if you screamed a lot the toboggan would turn at the last minute and you would not hit the wall or go over the cliff. How do you spell adrenaline? Yes, it really was scary. I've done it and I am done. I don't have to do it again. Fortunately, nobody from our bus got hurt, and we all lived to go to the next stop, Pico dos something, where we saw more stunning views and beautiful plants.  We returned to Funchal for the wine tasting. The wine tasting was at a place called Blandy's, which we had been to before. It was much more like a store than like a winery. I suppose it is technically a winery because they do some aging in barrels there, but it wasn't what we were expecting. We were led through some rooms where we saw old wine presses and barrels and tools for making barrels. It was very tourist-trappy. In the final room we all got a small glass of sweet Madeira. I didn't like it. It was strong and tasted like that medicine that tastes like furniture polish. We got a ticket we could use to get another glass of either dry or medium-dry Madeira. I got the medium dry, and it was even worse than the first kind. I will never be a wine connoisseur. Funchal is charming, clean, graffiti-free, and, today, it was also very festive. There was a Christmas market and a parade and folk-dancing. We had about 15 minutes of free time so we walked around and looked at the Christmas market. We bought some kind of baked good that was delicious and some "poncha," which is a local drink. It looks like fruit juice, but let me tell you, it goes down like a punch in the stomach. Super strong. Back on the ship we lazed on our balcony for a while and enjoyed the sun. It is finally warm. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was time to get ready for the Captain's Cocktail Party. We learned that 89% of the passengers on this segment are repeat Princess cruisers, with 65 gold level passengers, 51 ruby, 235 platinum and 232 elite. After dinner we went to the Burt Bacharach show called "What the World Needs Now." Good show. I really like the ship's singers and dancers.